Overcoming social anxiety begs for a chance to succeed. We have a built-in tool to make it happen. And, works wonders. Isn't it time to give making eye contact a shot?
You're convinced others judge you. But, rarely kick around the idea they're too busy trying hiding their own flaws, to notice yours.
It's an opportunity you don't want to miss. Make a connection. Without feeling rejected.
Here's the deal...
Make eye contact. So others feel comfortable around you.
Making eye contact shows you're giving someone your complete attention. This can win them over.
When you allow yourself to look into another's eyes, limits disappear. Including what you think are your flaws.
Overcoming social anxiety involves...listening...talking. And, it becomes easier when you make eye contact.
Want to learn how?
While overcoming social anxiety, you may try too much eye contact. Or, too little. So, to make it work...
Gaze softly, don't stare.
Staring turns people off. Do it intensely and others may feel uncomfortable. Even threatened.
Too little eye contact and another thinks you're not interested...in them. A turn off, too.
Listen and talk with your eyes. Even if it's for a few seconds. The other notices. And, unconsciously, accepts the connection.
Less time is blown wondering if another is judging you. Others are in the same boat. Hungry to be accepted.
Part of overcoming social anxiety is to feel comfortable in your own skin. But, the fear to let another person take a close look at you, looms. Because of how you feel about yourself, a hallmark of social anxiety disorder.
By making good eye contact, your weak spots aren't what's being noticed. Instead, the message is, you're...
And, throw in...
The eyes don't lie. Others do respond to your interest in them.
By making eye contact...
When listening to another, your promise to pay attention, is recognized. It's a winner's move to acceptance. As depression help, this can take the sting out of feeling isolated.
When you're the one talking, making eye contact shows you're focused on the one you're speaking to. They don't feel ignored.
In either case, ...
Making eye contact is a supreme way to show you're interested. Socializing is easier. More natural.
Do you want to qualify?
Looking into another's eyes may want to make you shrink in fear. Uncomfortable. You may not yet know why. But, can with how to decode anxiety disorder symptoms.
Keep in mind, learning to make eye contact, is an enormous step towards overcoming social anxiety.
Here's a secret...
Mastering eye contact is doable. It can be practiced in the comfort of your home. And, we'll get to that later....right after taking a look at a simple approach.
To overcome social anxiety, and to keep it from becoming an anxiety disorder, here's the know-how to make eye contact...
Use a triangular pattern to make eye contact. Imagine looking at a person, say, at arm's length away. And, talking to you.
Glance at an eye for few seconds. Shift to the other. Drift your gaze down to the bridge of the other's nose. Then, go back up and meet the first one again. Repeat.
After every 1 or 2 sentences, break eye contact.
Shift your gaze sideways. Ever so slightly. Or, up, like you're trying to remember something. Then, make eye contact again. Using the triangular approach.
The key is to keep from looking down. It'll be your lifesaver.
When you look down, others sense your discomfort, disinterest, meekness. Or, it's a signal you've ended the conversation.
Is this what you want?
You can control what you look at when you make eye contact. Without appearing like you're scared out of your wits. It's a superb confidence-builder.
Here's what's next...
One way to get comfortable with making eye contact to overcome social anxiety, is using a mirror to practice.
Your inner critic may protest. Disapprove. Savagely trash your intention.
But, pretend a friend is in the same position. What would you say to soothe them? Then, say the same to yourself. Be kind.
Pick a spot where you have privacy. And, a mirror. Make yourself comfortable. Look into your eyes. Notice their color.
Gaze for the time it takes to say a sentence. Then shift your eyes away, a little to the side, for 1-2 seconds. Remember, don't look down. Then make eye contact again.
Repeat 5 times. Do this daily till it feels natural.
Next, with the...
Practice eye contact, while looking into a mirror, using the triangle strategy.
Note: As go-between, I like using the bridge of the nose instead of the mouth. It's a softer approach. And, can feel less overwhelming.
Repeat 5 times. Do it daily till it feels comfortable. An easy rhythm will develop.
Fine tune the know-how. Practice on a...
...if only to notice their eye color. When you get used to doing this, go for it when you meet someone new.
Don't give up when it feels strange to try it out. Remember, people tend to be wrapped up in their world. And, won't be thinking about your slipups.
Want to make a rewarding first impression? Then, check out 6 Habits of Remarkably Likable People by Jeff Haden. And, you'll know more about subtle gestures to give off good vibes.
A step in overcoming social anxiety can be the breakthrough you've been looking for. Make eye contact. By giving another your complete attention, you can win them over. The payoff can be astonishing.